The Difference Between Self-Confidence and Self-Worth
The journey from proving myself to finally feeling enough
One of my favorite symbols that I wear every day - as a necklace or a bracelet - is a symbol of intrinsic human self-worth.
I had them made on Etsy at the lowest point of my inward journey (Jan-Feb’24 - so a bit over a year ago), in a moment of complete despair and disconnection from myself. I needed something - anything really - to remind me that perhaps one day, I could feel unconditional self-worth. Not just as an idea or a hope, but as something embodied and lived. This symbol became my anchor - my way of whispering to myself: maybe one day, you’ll believe you’re enough.
But how did it all begin?
All my life, I was a self-confident person. I was content, capable, inspired to act. I had no trouble speaking up, leading, making decisions, or navigating new countries and careers. I never thought I needed therapy. I told myself, “I don’t have insecurities. I feel fine and confident about who I am. I had loving parents - what could possibly be wrong?” And I meant it. Or at least, I thought I did.
But when my inward journey began just over a year ago, everything I believed about myself shattered into pieces. One of the first revelations was this: self-confidence has nothing to do with self-worth.
That realization cracked me completely open.
Self-Confidence vs. Self-Worth – Two Different Worlds
Self-confidence is an outer expression. It’s shaped by what you can do, what you’ve accomplished, how others perceive you. It’s the voice that says, “I can handle this, I’ve done this before, I know what I’m doing.” It’s deeply tied to identity, capability, performance. It’s rational, constructed, ego-based - but not in a bad way. Just in a way that relies on something outside you to feel steady.
Self-worth, though, is something entirely different. It’s an inner knowing - a quiet, unwavering presence. It doesn’t come from doing - it comes from being. It doesn’t compare. It doesn’t need a mirror. It simply says: “Even if I do nothing, even if I fail, even if I’m broken - I am still worthy.”
If self-confidence is like the waves on the surface, self-worth is the ocean underneath - deep, still, unmoved.
And yet for so many of us, we live from the waves. We chase achievement. We build identity. We call it strength. But when the storm comes - and it always does - we realize how fragile that structure is. That’s exactly what happened to me.
The Energetics of It – How I Actually Feel Them
Self-confidence feels like a controlled power. It’s often comparative. It’s proud. It feels like “I’m skilled, I’m capable, I’m strong.”
Self-worth, though - it feels like quiet peace. Like coming home. It’s not loud or flashy. It’s calm. Grounded. Soft. It’s a sense of “I don’t have to try. I just am.”
And this was the shift I didn’t even know I needed - until my life forced me to look deeper.
The Journey That Changed Me
When I first saw the difference, it was just a concept. Then came the hardest part: accepting that I didn’t truly feel worthy deep down. That I was still seeking validation, still afraid to fail, still terrified of not being enough or being rejected. Still needing things to identify with. The second hard step was to allow myself to believe that unconditional self-worth is a legit concept. The third hard step was to allow myself to believe that developing unconditional self-worth is actually possible.
What followed was a long, incredibly painful, inward journey. Teaching my body and nervous system to feel safe without external validation. Learning to notice when my worth was being tied to something. Learning to breathe through the discomfort of not proving anything. Learning to surrender and let go of control. Slowly, gently, I started to shift.
And eventually - through tears, journaling, silence, therapy, EFT, introspection, and profound moments of spiritual connection - I began to feel it. Not think it. Feel it. That soft presence of “I’m enough.” That gentle whisper of “You don’t need to perform anymore.”
Self-Worth Isn’t a Feeling. It’s a State.
Self-worth isn’t just a feeling. It’s a state. A frequency. A resting place. It’s peace.
It doesn’t come from success. It doesn’t disappear with failure. It’s not something you earn - it’s something you remember. And when you do, it’s the most liberating, peaceful feeling in the world. It’s like being held by something larger than yourself. It’s like love - and being loved - all at once.
And I want you to know something:
If you’ve lived most of your life confident but still unsure of your worth - you’re not alone. If you’ve worn strength like armor but longed for softness - you’re not alone. If you’ve thought you were fine until the day you weren’t - you’re not alone.
But here’s the most beautiful truth I’ve learned:
You don’t have to become anyone else to be worthy. You already are.
Keep walking. Keep listening. Keep softening. You’ll get there. I promise.
With love,
Anna